Is It Over Yet? The L.A. Kings And The Impetus of Impotence… 2/25/2012

(This article was originally published by me as a guest author at the site called “Surly and Scribe”)

The momentum of mediocrity. The inertia of ineptitude… Can it end? Will it end? I wanted this team to do well this season; contend legitimately for the Division title (even lose is okay, but contend) make the playoffs, score some goals and improve the power play.  Well, surprise, surprise surprise, it’s all still possible. Likely? Maybe not, but still very possible. Unless, of course, we are overtaken by this growing cloud of buffoonery that follows us around like the personal raincloud of some Peanut’s character. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. Regardless of the ridiculously awful scoring so far, the Kings are still in it.

I have to feel that the Kings are about to break out. Maybe not tonight, but in the next 12 to 15 games. I think the cause for it will be confused with the trade, the arrival of Carter. But it is my personal hunch that the Kings will feel a great relief after the trade window is closed and shuttered for the season. Dustin Brown will score, Kopitar will shoot, Richards will dog on the backcheck and grit some goals in with jaw-clench strength alone. Scuderi will pass, even in the O-zone. Doughty will find a way to handle guys in his corners without being fully upright and off-balance. He will actually maintain contact and lean into guys, for the pin. Voynov will play over his head for limited minutes, and Martinez will make Drewiske maintain the #8 position in a 7-man depth chart.  Williams will button-hook the opposition into a permanent dizziness, and retrieve pucks like an African honey-badger going in for the kill on a black mamba.

Waiting for the punch line? Sensing sarcasm? Actually, no. I am optimistic.The pressure is soon to lift, and it will blow this low front east bringing in a strong tropical flow of warm and fuzzy. We will lounge on the beaches of satisfaction, in Adirondack chairs built from the planks of multi-goal winning margins. Topless women will bring us drinks, we will laugh about the mini-umbrellas in a place where it never rains, and long-forgotten friends will amazingly appear in the neighboring cabana with stories of how the high school sweetheart that got away is not only recently divorced but was asking about us. Maybe that last part isn’t about hockey, but goddamn it I am having a fantasy here so it’s in there.

It isn’t Carter coming. It isn’t Johnson leaving. It’s just a feeling.  I think we will lose a close one here tonight, and after that we are gonna go 8-2-2 over the following dozen. Then, we’re gonna be within 3 points of San Jose going into that final two-game series. We’re gonna score 6 goals in one game, twice. We’re gonna go 2 for 3 on the power play and do a run of 35 straight penalty kills. We’re gonna score two goals in the final minute and win games in OT. We’re gonna make the playoffs in 4th or 3rd, we’re gonna go into them hot, and then we’re gonna win the first round.

If I am wrong, about all this, not just in specifics but in general,  so be it. But I am committed, I want it, I am invested.

After that, we’ll just see what happens. But all that would be a real good start. No slacking. No dicking around. Game face, dammit. C’mon men, we got work to do!! Who’s with me?


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