Sitting here faced with two games of summary and tracking undone, it is a Sunday morning and I am looking at four hours or more of work to even just get the X Rays done, plus another couple of hours at least to write up the articles for games that happened two and three days ago. I’d rather rest.
Over this past summer events in my life nearly overwhelmed me. My sister passed, from cancer, in our home after a terrifically courageous battle. It was brutal, and came only 15 months after my Mom passed away, also after a protracted, inexorably deteriorating, and inevitable loss. For 8 months I was my Mother’s primary caretaker before my terminally diagnosed sister arrived in California and got the last two months to share with my Mom. In the past year I bought a house with my sister, and moved us in, but she enjoyed her first home for only 11 months total, but my sister and I got only 6 months really, before the cancer took over again, and I was again a primary caretaker which this time culminated in 6 weeks hospice in our home. This paragraph has three basic ingredients: time, loss and effort.
I am simply not the same person that could muster the focus required to write at the depth of understanding necessary to be informative. My “niche” as I understood it was based on what Coach Sutter did, and why I thought he did it. I am proud that I shared a viewpoint and that I correctly anticipated many, many lineup changes, positions adjustments, and in-game coaching decisions. To find that wavelength requires more cerebral “RAM” than I am currently willing to commit.
Essentially, and crudely, my articles were really an exhibition of arrogance, in a way. I wanted people to know I understood certain things, and that I used available information in a uniquely tailored way, which yielded what I thought was a valuable and predictive perspective on the Kings. If I got it right, I had proof that I had anticipated it. I thought I did it to generate discussion, and that if I led the discussion I would learn more and become even better at understanding the Kings successes and failures. But really, the whole exercise is an ego stroke leading to the pettiness of an implied “I told you so.”
So now, I see the time and effort required to maintain this site as something of a burden. It is now more something I am “supposed” to do, than something I am excited to do.
Time is much, much more valuable to me, now. I have suddenly gone from the youngest child to the sole survivor. I love the Kings, and they will see me through, but now as just another fan that thinks he knows what the hell is going on.
I thank you for your interest in this site. I am certain the activity and conversations provided me exactly what I needed, as distraction and company, during some very, very dark, the darkest, days.
Maybe I will find that person again, the one that goes to practices, reads everything, charts games, and spends 4 hours after each game making graphics and writing articles. That is not a very big maybe, though. Thank you, but for now, goodbye.