Signing Off

Sitting here faced with two games of summary and tracking undone, it is a Sunday morning and I am looking at four hours or more of work to even just get the X Rays done, plus another couple of hours at least to write up the articles for games that happened two and three days ago. I’d rather rest.

Over this past summer events in my life nearly overwhelmed me. My sister passed, from cancer, in our home after a terrifically courageous battle. It was brutal, and came only 15 months after my Mom passed away, also after a protracted, inexorably deteriorating, and inevitable loss. For 8 months I was my Mother’s primary caretaker before my terminally diagnosed sister arrived in California and got the last two months to share with my Mom. In the past year I bought a house with my sister, and moved us in, but she enjoyed her first home for only 11 months total, but┬ámy sister and I got only 6 months really, before the cancer took over again, and I was again a primary caretaker which this time culminated in 6 weeks hospice in our home. This paragraph has three basic ingredients: time, loss and effort.

I am simply not the same person that could muster the focus required to write at the depth of understanding necessary to be informative. My “niche” as I understood it was based on what Coach Sutter did, and why I thought he did it. I am proud that I shared a viewpoint and that I correctly anticipated many, many lineup changes, positions adjustments, and in-game coaching decisions. To find that wavelength requires more cerebral “RAM” than I am currently willing to commit.

Essentially, and crudely, my articles were really an exhibition of arrogance, in a way. I wanted people to know I understood certain things, and that I used available information in a uniquely tailored way, which yielded what I thought was a valuable and predictive perspective on the Kings. If I got it right, I had proof that I had anticipated it. I thought I did it to generate discussion, and that if I led the discussion I would learn more and become even better at understanding the Kings successes and failures. But really, the whole exercise is an ego stroke leading to the pettiness of an implied “I told you so.”

So now, I see the time and effort required to maintain this site as something of a burden. It is now more something I am “supposed” to do, than something I am excited to do.

Time is much, much more valuable to me, now. I have suddenly gone from the youngest child to the sole survivor. I love the Kings, and they will see me through, but now as just another fan that thinks he knows what the hell is going on.

I thank you for your interest in this site. I am certain the activity and conversations provided me exactly what I needed, as distraction and company, during some very, very dark, the darkest, days.

Maybe I will find that person again, the one that goes to practices, reads everything, charts games, and spends 4 hours after each game making graphics and writing articles. That is not a very big maybe, though. Thank you, but for now, goodbye.

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7 Responses to Signing Off

  1. Hamburgular says:

    A pleasure reading your analyses, you are one of the more entertaining hockey blogs I’ve read. I read all the Kings blogs and a few around the league that are open minded and have a style worth revisiting. I’ll miss the puns and tongue in cheek references the most. Thankfully I will still have access to your wit and humor through other channels. Thank you for sharing your insight with us. It’s even more meaningful now that we all know that it helped you through a tough time this year. Good luck and God bless. Robble robble robble. GKG \X/

  2. Stonewall says:

    Thanks man. I was looking forward to reading your stuff this year. I found your site as it’s one of the few I can read at work! So for selfish reasons I am sad.

    Dave

  3. USHA#17 says:

    I am sorry for your losses; and so close hardly enough time to catch a breath or step back for perspective. We also keep family at home and care for them. I understand.

    I will miss your blog. I enjoyed the engaging discussions and insights. All the best and my good wishes to you and your future.

    Good things.

  4. Albert says:

    Player X – I will miss your blog. I have been reading it during the past season and found it both enjoyable and insightful. My sympathies for your losses and what you’ve been through – may the God of all comfort give you comfort during this time (2 Cor. 1:3). Sometimes, the things we go through in life will change our priorities and perspective. May the Lord lead you on to bigger and better things. God bless.

  5. Mik3ysfv says:

    I’m so sorry for everything. I have lost 4 close family members in the last couple of years and have another in a medically induced coma. My dad’s favorite saying before he passed, to my horror, was “life sucks, son. Get used to it.” I find it apt. That kinda came out crudely, so I’m sorry. I don’t mean it to be flippant.
    I wish you nothing but the best, ‘X. You are a class act. Please don’t disappear. I always enjoyed your thoughts. I have been working on a pipeline for the last 4mos. and have had little to zero internet. I wish you all the best andd take care of yourself, my friend.

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